Manipulation and control apparent in Gabby Petito case

A missing person report seldom receives the kind of national media attention that the Gabby Petito case has the past few weeks. The 22-year-old embarked on a cross-country trip in June with her longtime boyfriend and fiancé Brian Laundrie. She planned to travel in her white van and share her journey with her family and others on social media.
In late August Petito face-timed and texted her mother for the last time. On Sept. 1 Laundrie returned alone to the couple’s North Port, Fla., home where his parents also live. After not being able to get in touch with her, Petito’s family, who lives in New York, reported her missing to the Suffolk County, N. Y., police department.
North Port authorities went to the Laundrie home and asked to speak to him and his family, but were handed information about their attorney instead. Two weeks later the Petito family and their attorney held a news conference and begged the Laundrie family to cooperate in the missing person investigation. The latter finally requested law enforcement to come to their home where they shared that they hadn’t seen their son Brian for three days.
Stories like this usually do not end well and this is one of them. Petito’s body was discovered in Teton County, Wyo., last Sunday. Positive identification was expected within a few days.
The 23-year-old Laundrie was reported to be a manipulative and controlling person. There is video evidence of the Moab, Utah, police having an encounter with the couple on Aug. 12 where officers described them as having “engaged in some sort of altercation.” Both told the officers “they were in love and engaged to be married and didn’t wish to see anyone charged with a crime.” Petito appears to be emotionally upset and crying in the video.
Women Escaping A Violent Environment (WEAVE)   director Donna Talley has seen this scenario play out many times in the more than 30 years she has headed up WEAVE in Custer. “He was so controlling. She didn’t even have any water when they were stopped in Utah,” Talley said.
“She was an emotional wreck. He was not allowing her to work on her blog. He locked her out of the van,” Talley said. Traveling together for so long in a small van is difficult enough, she said, and “even under the best circumstances with somebody who was controlling, it would be really tough.
“She had been with him for a number of years and didn’t know anything else. She was so dependent on him and that is more control. He’s her savior. He’s doing everything for her. This trip was supposed to be about her and he had the van keys in his pocket,” Talley said.
“There’s been a lot of strangulation cases lately. If she was getting on his nerves, strangulation or suffocation is the ultimate control. I’m not saying that happened, but it is the extreme physical abuse,” Talley said.
“They just want to be loved. When they are threatened with harm, they are told it will never happen again, but it does. Sometimes the victim is afraid to call law enforcement for fear of being blamed themselves,” she said.
“Gabby kept blaming herself. She kept saying, ‘I don’t know why I’m so mean.’ I heard and saw  her say that a few times on the police interviews. Sometimes victims blame themselves for their abuse. That’s a big sign also. They have been told that by the offender enough, they seem to believe it. It sometimes takes years of counseling to see what’s really happening. Not sure if his family might have done this also,” Talley said.
“I’ve seen it happen too many times. This can happen to you. It’s sad, but maybe this will be her legacy. If someone threatens or hurts you, you should not be with that person. Expect it to escalate to physical violence,” Talley said.
“I think guilt is the reason he (Laundrie) fled and his parents are the enablers. When a family enables an offender, that’s a big red flag. They make excuses or bail them out even though they know it’s wrong,” she said.
The Petito case captivated the nation, and, if anything else, it shined the light on the possible deadly consequences of domestic violence. Talley said she is seeing it more in much younger and much older people today.
If you or anyone you know finds themselves in a domestic violence situation, contact WEAVE at 673-4357 or the office at 673-6333. In an emergency dial 911.

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