The power of friendship

By: 
Gray Hughes

I lost a very close friend the other day.

I’ve had a rollercoaster of emotions since then. Anger, sadness — basically if it was one of the five stages of grief I’ve experienced it in the past week.

But looking back at our friendship, I am just so incredibly thankful that I met him.

He came into my life when I needed some guidance and some purpose. Meeting him gave me some purpose to my life. You see, my friend had an intellectual disability. I met him through a program at my college that paired students without intellectual disabilities with members of the community that had intellectual disabilities.

I joined this program my sophomore year of college because I needed a little direction. I was lost, to put it quite frankly. I felt the need to do something for other people.

Meeting him made me put my life into perspective, and for the first time I actually cared about someone other than myself. Whenever I went to go make a decision, I would think to myself, “Would this make my friend proud of me?” If the answer was “no,” you could guarantee I wouldn’t do it.

See, that’s the true power of friendship, and I’ve been lucky to have many, many good friends throughout my life.

I’m probably one of the few people out there who still keeps in close contact with his high school friends. Sure, we don’t talk every day like we once did. And yes, some of us are in different phases of life. But that doesn’t mean that we like each other any less.

Whenever I see them — and sadly it’s been several years since I’ve seen them — we can pick back up like no time has passed. When I am with them, it’s like being back in high school — just talking and goofing off, none of us taking ourselves too seriously.

But I know that behind all that, too, they are there for me. During a time in high school when I really needed people to be there for me, my friends were there for me — to pick me up, make me laugh and remind me that everything is going to be OK.

I made some incredible friends in college, too. Friends who truly are quite amazing. Once again, when I needed to be picked up, they did just that, making sure that I didn’t stray from the path they knew would lead me to good things.

And that path has truly lead me to good things.

Like my high school friends, I haven’t seen them in several years. That’s what happens when you move literally two time zones away. It stinks, but it’s part of life.

I talk to my college friends often. We have group chats to talk about everything from politics to sports. I probably send a message to the guy that’ll be the best man in my wedding about once a day.

Yes, these friends are great, and they all impacted my life in some sort of positive way. But none of them made the impact that my friend who recently passed did.

Since meeting my friend, my life’s direction changed. I started actually thinking about actions and putting others before myself. It was because of him that my thoughts on what we are on this Earth for changed. Instead of thinking that we are on this Earth to simply get ahead, I now believe we are on this Earth to leave it a better place than we found it.

That’s my life’s goal: to make sure that future generations are better off than we are. And I wouldn't have this belief if it wasn’t for my friend. He made me a better, more caring person. For that, I am forever grateful.

So, with that in mind, thank you. Thank you for the friendship that you supplied, the direction that you provided and the sense of purpose you gave me.

I’ll see you again one day.

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